French toast for dinner.

Today when we got home from running some errands, this little guy was hanging out front waiting to greet us. We named him Bartholemew of course [After the last toad that we had come visit, who was named after the toad before that, who was named after who-knows-what.]. The poor little guy had a little bit of a gimpy leg so we held him for an extra long time [because I'm sure that made him feel better]. As soon as I jumped out of the truck shouting "Barth!" Levi started talking about reasons we could probably keep him. That boy has a heart of gold I tell you. A heart. Of. Gold.

In the rain.

It's raining today. Yes, actually RAINING. Not only that, but it's been raining. For like the last three days. It's been incredible. I'm actually sitting on our porch right now. Sitting on the porch, blogging, pretending I'm not in Arizona. Weather like this makes me oh, so reminiscent. More on that later. Without further ado. Style blog number double oh eight. Right hurr.

Not my most "mature" outfit to date, but it was a lot of fun to wear! Plus the boy liked it. And we pretty much just go with whatever the boy says.

Top and tights are from F21 and the skirt and the shoes were both thrifted.

These clouds make me think Seattle. Driving down the five, sitting in the middle seat, cuddling up to the boy that I'm getting to know so well. Talking about sights we want to see, pictures we want to take, reasons we're falling in love. Laying in the grass under blankets, still so much electricity running between us. We're talking about all the excuses we can to postpone not being together. All the ways we could make "us" really work. We hold hands. We giggle. We ask people to take our pictures. We flirt. These cloudy days will forever be my favorite. They will always remind me of what started it all. The beginning. Our beginning. It was a cloudy day just like this one, when my life changed for the better.

If I could have.

If I could have invited you over for some raspberry lime iced tea while the sun set, I would have told you how completely inspired I am for this weekend. I would have told you about the last three nights of [no] sleep I've had and how my mind will just not stop reeling about all the crazy ideas I'm gathering for our newly re-finished kitchen. I would tell you about the vintage motifs I want to bring in to break up some of the geometric lines. I would have told you about how badly I want to go shopping for some mellow floral patterns to pair together for curtains and wall art and everything else. I would have shown you the blank canvas' that belonged to my grandpa before he died and tell you how excited I am to paint them and incorporate something so meaningful into the room.

I would have told you how busy I've been for the last three days and how bummed out it makes me when I don't have time to take pictures and blog about everything going on. I would have told you that I couldn't wait to spend the next three days at home, with my camera around my neck, and the boy right next to me squeezing my hand whenever I need a lil' energy boost. 

Then I would probably have closed my eyes for a second and fell into a daydream about him. I would have laughed and tried to explain to you how adorable his little boy face is when he wants to ask me to make shoyu chicken again even though I've already made it for him five times in the last two weeks. I would have told you about how needed he makes me feel. I would have told you about how much I love the way he loves me. I would have told you about last night. About how he took me to a birthday party for one of his old school friends yesterday and about how he held my hand, and kept me with him and made sure to introduce me to every person we came to. I would have most definitely mentioned how sweet he is to act so proud of me and my photography and how special he makes me feel when he brags about it to his people. I would have definitely told you how much I love that boy. [IF I was feeling super comfortable, I may have even told you how lately we've discovered that commercial breaks go a lot faster if you make out all through them - but really only if I got super comfortable.]

After that, I would have asked you if you wanted to come inside for some cookies and milk and I'd pull out the chocolate chip cookie dough I made and froze yesterday and while they were cooking I would have thanked you endlessly for listening to me and chatting with me and giving me a chance to clear my mind before I jumped in to my [endlessly long] to do list for the next few days.

Then of course, I would have asked about you. I wonder what you would have told me. Hope you have had a lovely Saturday friends. Thanks for the date.

Appreciating it all.

I almost made today like every other. I woke up, was going to get to work on the kitchen. Probably complain a little about how hot it was. Probably sit here and wish that these dang cabinets were already painted. I almost took advantage of the fact that I get to work on the kitchen today. I almost took advantage of the fact that I'm able to use a little elbow grease. I almost forgot how blessed my life is.

See there are these three tiles in our entryway that have kind of "wiggled" for as long as we've been here. Every time you step on them you kind of hear them hit the mortar underneath them that they must have separated from. Well in the last couple weeks, it's made the grout around them start cracking and coming up in little pieces. Kind of obnoxious and really ugly. Well last night, Levi decided to fix it. And by last night I mean right about the time I threw on my PJ's and was pretty ready to crash out. So I fixated myself on sleep and laid down to you know, make a point or something. A few minutes into the project I hear his little voice. "Babe, where you at?" I look up, a little bit set still on my heavy eyelids, and mumbled a bitter, "What?" He repeats himself, "Where you at? You're usually right here with me on stuff like this." A little bit chagrined [and secretly dreading him asking me to mix him up some mortar or something], I say something about not thinking he needed my help on this particular project. He says, "Of course I need your help!" Then, when I dreading the response asked him what he needed, he came back with this.

"I need someone to say, 'Phew! Looks like a tough spot!' or 'Nice! It's lookin' better already!' then I'm going to need someone to hi-five when I get all done!"

At that point, I paused. I closed my eyes, counted to ten and reminded myself who fully I love my life. I ran over the list of all my favorite moments with Levi. Going to buy a lawn mower and some flowers, sitting outside planting while he cut the grass. Barely surviving under the weight as I held up ceiling fans and he attached the wires. Levi and I have done a lot of really fun things, but doing the little things together? Remembering to appreciate the not-so-obviously "fun" projects that we get to do right next to each other?


That is something I never want to lose. That is one of the main reasons I even started this blog. Those are the moments that make us, us.

Sorry babe, how about I paint some cabinets while you sand some edges today? Thanks for the reminder that life is better together. Love you more than grout floats and lemony baked carrots.

One sweet gentle reminder later and she's back in the game!

"Baby! You gotsa come back to the blog real soon. I know you've been hard at learning
Spanish and reading up on classic novels lately which is so impressive and I'm so super duper proud of you and I definitely don't want you to stop any of that awesomeness but if you get a free minute, just maybe one or two, could you perhaps just possible maybe pretty pretty please blog a little for me sometime soon. :) Pwease? PS... I love you."

Says the boy in a comment on my last blog post. Tell me people, how, oh HOW are you supposed to say no to a sweet gentle reminder like that?? I mean, you can only imagine the poor, wide-eyed, quivering-lip sort of face that he made with it. [In fact I was already asleep when he wrote that so I can only even imagine it right along with you, but, I imagine it was pretty heart-wrenching.] Something like the look that Arwen gives Aragorn as he rides out of sight, no doubt. Something like that just can't go ignored.

So what do you think people? Is there room enough in this vast blogging world for me to jump back in? Hmm...what did you miss?

You missed the concrete-ing of the pool! Here's Levi checking it out right after they finished it. It is SO pretty. We are really really excited for them to start making it beautiful this week. Eek eek eek.

You also missed the boy and I trying to set the world record of longest period of time in between grocery shopping trips. I imagine those days the "Today I Love" posts would have gone something like this:

Today I Love: eating cereal for three meals a day. Cutting off a hunk of cheese when I feel like I need some protein. Reading stories of people in prison living off of dried crusts of bread and slop and being jealous. Finding new and improved ways to cook the ever-versatile vegetable....the potato. And accidentally being the discover-er of the most effective diet created to date - the We're Too Lazy To Go To The Grocery Store diet.

Then, after the world record largest shopping trip of both of our lives last night, I would have sounded something like this:

Today I Love: HAVING FOOD!

Let's see, you missed  the almost break-down Levi had when I got my hurr did the other day. Admittedly, it looked real real bad before. I let it grow out for way too long and it had like three different levels of roots showing, the layers were meeting up with each other and having little power-wars all over my head. Not kidding, it was like the middle east up there. So, when I finally went down to get it done, I told my friend Megan I wanted it really different. We added a lot of blonde and made it shorter and summery-er and fun-er. I even stopped by Ulta on the way home and loaded myself up on texturizer and wax and I finally replaced my [God bless it's little heart.] straightener with a nice, reliable CHI-babay. When I got home, Levi came bounding down the stairs and stopped short at the bottom. Trying to make the transition smooth, he walked towards me smiling and said something like, "Wow! So different!" but I'm sure I'm not alone in this world of self-criticizing-women when I say that "different" isn't exactly the compliment we're looking for when we make a change like this. I hurried into the bathroom and started straightening some of the ends out a bit and doing it more how I would probably end up doing it on a day to day basis and he followed me in and quickly answered YES to all my "So do you like it?" type questions. It wasn't until the next couple days passed that I got the actual reason for his hesitance out of him.

Apparently, I look older. Older and wiser I suppose because he finally stopped me in the middle of a game of pool and told me how intimidated he was by me now. He said that this new hair was like a whole new me and he was just hoping that the "New Me" still loves wittle him. How ADORABLE is he? I of course, quickly assured him that underneath it all I was still just Amalie. Amalie who is madly in love with Levi. Since then he's been talking quite a bit more about rings and white dresses and things of that nature so in my humble opinion? New Hair WIN.

You also missed a couple days ago when I was doing the dishes and childishly and girlishly imagining in my head that I had a little toddler running around "helping me put them away" when in my imaginative world the little guy dropped a dish and it broke. I was just imagining how Levi and I would react to this when I dropped a pan myself. I chipped the handle on it and I reacted probably pretty close to how the little toddler in my dreamland would have. "LEVII'MSORRYLEVII'MSORRYLEVII'MSORRY!" he came in and laughed. "It happens baby. Should we risk gluing it back on or just leave it?" "LEVI I'M SORRY LEVI I'M SORRY." Another little laugh. "You can just put it back I don't think we'll worry about it." He put the chip in a drawer, kissed me on the cheek, and went back to what he was doing.

Sigh. My children are going to have such a stellar father.

There's another couple weeks worth of things you missed of course, but in order to not over-load anyone with explosions of love and cute-boy-moves, I'll try to spread them out over the next little while. For today, I'm pretty sure there's no question as to how this post should end. Here's what I love today.


Today I Love: the creator of Skittles [who I sincerely hope get's a fruit basket and a kiss every day of his blessed life]. I love all the fruit that make up the flavors of things like Skittles and Starburst and the like and I love it even more when they're all in season making packs of strawberries at Wal-Mart only 80 whopping cents! [That's not a joke people - I will totally understand if you stop reading right here to go stock up!] I love the things the boy gets excited about like peg boards and having toilet bowl cleaner on hand. I also love that he knows the line between being indulgent and being realistic and he knows that needing to purchase a little Hot Wheels car for us to roll back and forth while playing poker or eating dinner is COMPLETELY realistic and unarguably necessary. I love that he humors me when I speak Spanish to him. I love that he realizes the little moments that are important to me and he takes the time to enjoy them with me. I love that he knows the things that make me happy and that he pushes me to strive for them. I love that I get to spend every day with my best friend.

 

Dear Levi,

Thanks for the reminder. Love you more than Red Wheat Puffed Cereal, Jicama, and poker-chip Hot Wheels tracks. How about a couple games of pool tonight with a daring and exhilarating reward system?

Love, Me

Just call me Levi's Girlfriend.

I went down to Fresh and Easy today to grab some milk while Levi tried to get some work done outside before the sun went down. As I checked out, one of the boys who seems to be working every time we're there stopped me, "Where's' your second half?" he said with a smile on his face. "I know, right? He had to stay home and get some work done today." "Aw, well tell him I say not to work too hard." He gave me a little wave, and headed off to clean up the Greek Yogurt display [which had recently been traumatized by some rather rambunctious little younglings who by the looks of things were confusing the plastic cups with hand grenades.]

Can I just say how much ridiculous joy I get from knowing people associate me with Levi Chell Roberts?

You know how while you're growing up, if you have like, Miss Everybody Knows Her as a sister, or you become friends with Popular Mcgee at some point, and you say hi to someone who knows one of them, they're like, "Oh, you're Miss Everybody Knows Her's sister, right?" or, "Oh, I've seen you with Popular Mcgee, haven't I?" and you hate it with a passion and decide you'd just rather nobody even know you?

Well that is NOT what this is like. Not even a little bit. This is like, if everywhere I went for the rest of my life, every single person referred to me as Levi's girlfriend and no one ever even said my name again, I would be such a happy little duck. In fact, it would be quite an honor.

In fact, from now on, if you would be so kind as to start just calling me Levi's Girlfriend, that'd be great!

Dear Mr. Roberts,
I'm the other half of your Peanut Butter Mood, the other half of your Sweet Pork Salad, the other half of your Honey Lime Enchiladas, and I love it all. Let's never stop finding things to share!
Love, Me

It's a simple love.

You know how as you're growing up you hear [all the big] people say things like...

"If only I'd known then, what I know now..."

"If I would have figured this out ten years ago..."

"If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself..."

Etc.
Etc.
Etc.

I don't know about you, but I never wanted to be one of those people. Well, maybe I do know about you. I don't think anyone grows up wanting to be someone who looks back on their past with remorse, regret, discouragement. If you're anything like me [and really you probably are] you grew up telling yourself things like,

"I know what I'm doing..."

"I already know who I am..."

"Yeah but I really know what I want..."

Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
You know what I'm talking about. You know it because it's biologically and scientifically and naturally instilled in us all as human beings. Fact.

Here's the catch. I think there's a huge part of it ["it" being this crazy little thing called life] that some of us forget. Or rather, some of us just don't realize. Or rather, some of us just don't let ourselves have the opportunity to realize. Or rather, just kidding.

Our first day in Seattle [Levi and I's first day in Seattle, in case you haven't yet picked up on this being our story], as we walked through the Farmers Market we stopped for a minute at a certain lookout point to watch the ferries crossing to Bainbridge Island. He stole my camera and snapped shot after shot of me [and my blushing cheeks]. After a few quiet moments he must have gotten one he liked, because in one fell swoop [which phrase I've never understood] he hung the strap back on my shoulder, followed it with that hand down to the small of my back, pulled me against him, used his other hand to tilt my head upward and pressed his lips gently but securely against mine. Before I even knew what happened. The boy literally, took my breath away.

Sound like a scene from a movie? Trust me, I know. But THAT, is exactly my point. I know there are many a perfect first kiss stories out there, but I sure as heck had never had one. Sometime during that day I made the connection. I realized that being with him, strolling hand in hand down those city streets laughing and talking and sipping hot cocoa and dreaming, it wasn't forced. That moment I won't have to look back on with the woulda-coulda-shoulda-blues because instead of trying to make my life something it wasn't, I was just loving what it was. And that moment I didn't have to tell myself "I knew what I was doing" because I was finally accepting that I didn't. What could be simpler than that?

Those first days with Levi were the first in a long time that I'd want to live over and over and over. And guess what? That hasn't changed. This morning as I was leaving the house to go to work Levi rolled over, opened his eyes halfway and gave me the cutest half-awake smile I've ever seen. It said, "There ain't no way I'm awake enough to form any competent words right now but I loved sleeping next to you last night and I hope you have a great day with your kids. I'll be counting down the minutes until you get home!" I would give anything to go back in time, press pause, and just enjoy that tiny moment again and again because it's those moments that remind me [daily] that life just really isn't that complicated. In fact, it's really simple. Being really happy, doesn't need excuses or reasoning. Being really happy happens when you learn to just live and let live. And, of course, since this is a love story, it certainly doesn't hurt to find the person who fills the part of you that you didn't know was missing.

It certainly helped me.

Today is Friday [Payday for me, Cheers!]! Levi sold my violin for me this morning, finally. I'm so glad that lady wanted it. That thing had been sitting in closets and attics and dark, creaky bedrooms for far too long - that's no life for an instrument that could be doing this. [I think that kid is amazing. If you didn't click on that link, just do it. Party pooper.] I brought Costa Vida home and we ate some of that together while we talked about our days. Now we're listening to the Suns game and hoping desperately that we keep up with our lead!