Make time to dance alone!

I have this list. It's mostly in my head but you can find some of it jotted in the margins of my journals from time to time. It's a list of things that I'm onehundredpercent positive would make the world a happier place. Things that I would personally guarantee to put more smiles on more faces. Sometimes I think I just might send it to the president - I'm certain it would solve gas prices and marriage laws.

This one particular item on the list is one of the tried and truest of them all!

There is something so inspiring about standing in the middle of an empty park spinning circles in the rain, holding your arms high above your head and waving them free. No rules, no pressure, your own song, beat and tune. The ability to be all you, and only you without a single other care in the world but to make these moves your best ones yet.

It's the chance to prove to yourself that you can handle those lonely moments in life because hey, you just asked yourself to dance, and look. You didn't even say no.

The luckiest.

This month Levi and I passed up the big two year mark. This means a lot of things. Namely, most importantly, and of course the most obvious of all, is that we've been together for twowholeentireyears and that, is a reallyreallylongtime!

But spending 7hundredand30 days together also brings with it a few slightly less noted reasons to rejoice. For example, after 17thousand5hundredand20 hours holding the title of "girlfriend" to the boy, I now know exactly how he likes his chicken shredded, his eggs cooked, his cheese *not* melted and his chocolate mostly dark. In turn, he knows that I have a weakness for glazed chocolate cake donuts, that I put salt on practically everything, and that I will almost always pay the two bucks for a fresh loaf of french bread from the grocery store. We know each others favorite movies, we know each others favorite songs, I know minimalism makes him happy, and he knows that I clean when I'm upset. We've spent the last 1million51thousand200 seconds just being together. Learning every little detail.

And still.

And still Levi Chell Roberts manages to surprise me with things I never would have expected, even from a boy as perfect [for me] as he. I've been blue the last few days. A couple things have let me down lately and it's taken a bigger toll on me than I had expected. This morning I was really trying to kick myself in the butt and slap on a smile, when fortunately, the boy was one step ahead of me. About an hour after he got home from the gym I wandered into the kitchen and almost completely overlooked the beautiful bouquet of happy summer flowers and the box covered in tissue paper with a big bow drawn on the front in blue Sharpie.

A simple I-Love-You present. That sweetheart got me fresh flowers to display in my kitchen and a body ball - something I've mentioned just one or two times that I wanted.

He must know me better than I know myself because combine that surprise with the awesome AFV that was on this morning and today this girl is back to whistling the happiest of tunes [While working on those washboard abs, of course.]!

THE luckiest girl in the entire world. Two years later and I couldn't adore that boy any more.

The first day of my life.

Did you ever get into that song by Bright Eyes, First Day of My Life?

It's incredibly simple. Some of the lyrics go something like this:

This is the first day of my life.

I swear I was born right in the doorway,

I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed,

They're laying blankets on the beach.

Yours is the first face that I saw,

I swear I was blind before I met you.

And he goes on with his little love story, all circling around the day they met as the first days of their lives. It's really sweet but it has a distinct indie tone to it. You either love it or you hate it. I happened to love it and played it over and over in my last days of high school. I guess at the time I was pretty desperate for a fresh start and having a *new* first day of my life sounded all too appealing. I'm pretty sure I shed tears to that song while I was trying so hopelessly to make it come true.

It's a little different now. I still sing it in my head all the time, but it's not such an emotional trip.

Now, it's really just fun. 

For example.

At 3:00 this morning while Levi and I were going for a run through the neighborhood and stopped to make out in the park for a while. All sweaty and huffing hard. That would have been a great first day of my life!

Then, I sang it in my head a little later this morning when I rode my bike to the grocer [which is what I call Fry's because it sounds so much more romantic that way] to pick up some morning muffins for us. Watching the sun fill the house with light, the taste of cinnamon in our mouths. Yes yes, that too would be a fabulous way to start the rest of our lives.

I sing it in my head all the time, and I guess really it's just because I like thinking that way. I like thinking that every second is a new start. When I get frustrated or discouraged or I get the mean reds, I relish in the emotion for a time, and then the next thing that happens that I can appreciate?

THIS is the first day of my life.

And I start all over again.

It's just not a bad way to live!

Pretend we're in California, okay?

If only if only.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

This girl right here!

This is me.

Sitting on my long board at the park.

There's a guy across the street working in his garage.

There's a guy practicing his dunk at the basketball courts just a few yards away from the grassy shade I'm sitting in.

Both are watching me find tedious ways of balancing my camera at the end of my fingertips in order to snap this shot.

I should be embarrassed.

But I just don't care!

It's a good feeling, being this me.

Today, I had a flashback to a different me. One who struggles to even look into the eyes of the people around her. I tell you what people, I just don't miss that me!

I suppose I need those moments time and time again, as a reminder. A reminder that I still have things to learn. A reminder that my life is a process. A reminder to appreciate the person I've learned to be. 

Yet another helpful nudge to JUST BE ME!

[Anybody else find that a lot more difficult than those three little words make it sound??]

Made breakfast for boyfriend today.

[He loves having me around!]