The process.

Sometimes my friends ask me what it's like to be my own photographer. 

 And when they do, I tell them that mostly, it's just a lot of trial and error. Levi and I have gotten pretty good at knowing what we want and setting up to be just so...but honestly, that doesn't negate the process. It's still just a lot of attempting, and failing, and attempting again.

For example.

Step one. We just plain fail.

Then, we laugh at our failure [while trying not to show our utter discomfort].

Next, we get a little discouraged [andalmostdie].

And finally - we succeed!

[...and then we only post that last one on Facebook and you all think we're super-photo-humans and say things like "You two can't take a bad picture." and we laugh inside at our deception and go to sleep with smiles on our sneaky little faces! Bwahahahaha.]

Guys.

How hot is my boyfriend?

We're alive and well...

...to say the very least!

I know I never blog anymore - and I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you with a list of some of what's been going on with us mingled with a few pictures from lately?

Football season - we LOVE football season. When we're not working, we're watching the games. ASU and the Cardinals in particular, but honestly we'll watch any game. There's nothing so perfect for chilling out our busy schedules than watching a bunch of [rather large] men run into each other over and over again.

A couple weeks ago (Okay, okay - it was more like a month ago really...) when one of the ASU games wasn't on TV we decided to actually head down to the stadium for it. We made a night of it and decided to use the [Phoenix] light rail for both of our first times - so much fun! Highly recommend taking advantage if you're in the area.

We [as per usual] hit up the lake several times this summer on Levi's jet ski. And, in fact Levi's out-of-state siblings came down for one of those trips. That was such a blast. Since they live so far it's always fun to spend time with them, but getting to take them out tubing and wake-boarding and [somewhat unexpectedly cliff jumping] made for a perfect time.

The good news, is that I finally took the dive and bought a new lens for my camera. Quite an improvement from the one I had been using for the last several years and you can trust there will be more pictures coming your way soon. I'm actually excited to photo our life again and that, makes me happier than anything! Here's to remembering the moments!

Oh, also, Jamba and football at the park happens when the weather in AZ will allow. Which, it has lately! Love my life with this boy in it! He makes me so complete!

Just a girl and her guitar.

I won't lie. I'm a little speechless when it comes to this girls beauty. Her name is Trisha Montgomery and there is no doubt in my mind that she is going to go far. She's releasing her first album soon and I am more than positive that that is just the first step on an incredible journey. She was MADE to go places. Spending this time getting to know her and watching her light radiate was so rewarding! Thanks Trisha. You are absolutely stunning.

 

   

These two are in love.

Meet Marcie and Austin. They've been dating for a good long time and I think they are more than ready to finally tie the knot. It's easy to see how in love they are. And OH how they make each other laugh! I'm pretty sure the only times they weren't laughing was when I actually asked them to. Had to be quick on the shutter button to capture these sweet moments!

Aren't they gorgeous? Marcie is one of the most graceful and feminine girls I know. Just look at that pretty arm stretched out behind her.

And more laughing. Sigh. J'adore.

This BOY.

If only you could've seen him, riding around on my long board today.

 Someone once told me that your heart doesn't really start beating until the day you meet the one that makes it whole. My heart sure does beat these days. He makes me alive!

Make time to dance alone!

I have this list. It's mostly in my head but you can find some of it jotted in the margins of my journals from time to time. It's a list of things that I'm onehundredpercent positive would make the world a happier place. Things that I would personally guarantee to put more smiles on more faces. Sometimes I think I just might send it to the president - I'm certain it would solve gas prices and marriage laws.

This one particular item on the list is one of the tried and truest of them all!

There is something so inspiring about standing in the middle of an empty park spinning circles in the rain, holding your arms high above your head and waving them free. No rules, no pressure, your own song, beat and tune. The ability to be all you, and only you without a single other care in the world but to make these moves your best ones yet.

It's the chance to prove to yourself that you can handle those lonely moments in life because hey, you just asked yourself to dance, and look. You didn't even say no.

The luckiest.

This month Levi and I passed up the big two year mark. This means a lot of things. Namely, most importantly, and of course the most obvious of all, is that we've been together for twowholeentireyears and that, is a reallyreallylongtime!

But spending 7hundredand30 days together also brings with it a few slightly less noted reasons to rejoice. For example, after 17thousand5hundredand20 hours holding the title of "girlfriend" to the boy, I now know exactly how he likes his chicken shredded, his eggs cooked, his cheese *not* melted and his chocolate mostly dark. In turn, he knows that I have a weakness for glazed chocolate cake donuts, that I put salt on practically everything, and that I will almost always pay the two bucks for a fresh loaf of french bread from the grocery store. We know each others favorite movies, we know each others favorite songs, I know minimalism makes him happy, and he knows that I clean when I'm upset. We've spent the last 1million51thousand200 seconds just being together. Learning every little detail.

And still.

And still Levi Chell Roberts manages to surprise me with things I never would have expected, even from a boy as perfect [for me] as he. I've been blue the last few days. A couple things have let me down lately and it's taken a bigger toll on me than I had expected. This morning I was really trying to kick myself in the butt and slap on a smile, when fortunately, the boy was one step ahead of me. About an hour after he got home from the gym I wandered into the kitchen and almost completely overlooked the beautiful bouquet of happy summer flowers and the box covered in tissue paper with a big bow drawn on the front in blue Sharpie.

A simple I-Love-You present. That sweetheart got me fresh flowers to display in my kitchen and a body ball - something I've mentioned just one or two times that I wanted.

He must know me better than I know myself because combine that surprise with the awesome AFV that was on this morning and today this girl is back to whistling the happiest of tunes [While working on those washboard abs, of course.]!

THE luckiest girl in the entire world. Two years later and I couldn't adore that boy any more.

The first day of my life.

Did you ever get into that song by Bright Eyes, First Day of My Life?

It's incredibly simple. Some of the lyrics go something like this:

This is the first day of my life.

I swear I was born right in the doorway,

I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed,

They're laying blankets on the beach.

Yours is the first face that I saw,

I swear I was blind before I met you.

And he goes on with his little love story, all circling around the day they met as the first days of their lives. It's really sweet but it has a distinct indie tone to it. You either love it or you hate it. I happened to love it and played it over and over in my last days of high school. I guess at the time I was pretty desperate for a fresh start and having a *new* first day of my life sounded all too appealing. I'm pretty sure I shed tears to that song while I was trying so hopelessly to make it come true.

It's a little different now. I still sing it in my head all the time, but it's not such an emotional trip.

Now, it's really just fun. 

For example.

At 3:00 this morning while Levi and I were going for a run through the neighborhood and stopped to make out in the park for a while. All sweaty and huffing hard. That would have been a great first day of my life!

Then, I sang it in my head a little later this morning when I rode my bike to the grocer [which is what I call Fry's because it sounds so much more romantic that way] to pick up some morning muffins for us. Watching the sun fill the house with light, the taste of cinnamon in our mouths. Yes yes, that too would be a fabulous way to start the rest of our lives.

I sing it in my head all the time, and I guess really it's just because I like thinking that way. I like thinking that every second is a new start. When I get frustrated or discouraged or I get the mean reds, I relish in the emotion for a time, and then the next thing that happens that I can appreciate?

THIS is the first day of my life.

And I start all over again.

It's just not a bad way to live!

Pretend we're in California, okay?

If only if only.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

This girl right here!

This is me.

Sitting on my long board at the park.

There's a guy across the street working in his garage.

There's a guy practicing his dunk at the basketball courts just a few yards away from the grassy shade I'm sitting in.

Both are watching me find tedious ways of balancing my camera at the end of my fingertips in order to snap this shot.

I should be embarrassed.

But I just don't care!

It's a good feeling, being this me.

Today, I had a flashback to a different me. One who struggles to even look into the eyes of the people around her. I tell you what people, I just don't miss that me!

I suppose I need those moments time and time again, as a reminder. A reminder that I still have things to learn. A reminder that my life is a process. A reminder to appreciate the person I've learned to be. 

Yet another helpful nudge to JUST BE ME!

[Anybody else find that a lot more difficult than those three little words make it sound??]

Made breakfast for boyfriend today.

[He loves having me around!]

Carl Fredricksen had it right.

Sometimes I feel like we, as people, missed the mark when we chose our "preferred" mode of transportation.

 

"The best way of travel...if you aren't in any hurry at all, if you don't care where you are going, if you don't like to use your legs, if you don't want to be annoyed at all by any choice of directions, is in a balloon. In a balloon, you can decide only when to start, and usually when to stop. The rest is left entirely to nature."

— William Pene du Bois, The Twenty-one Balloons. 

I like him best.

It's nice to be with someone I love so dearly.

I know this may seem like a hand-to-head moment for most of you, but I don't know. I haven't always been with people I was so crazy about and honestly, I think a lot of people aren't. I think sometimes "easy" overrides "best" [or even "good" in some cases]. 

Now I get it though. 

Because now, I can walk through stores and malls and banks and look around at all the fine male prototypes that are out there, take a step back, and be reminded yet again that I really do like him better. I like him better than Robert Downey Jr as Sherlock Holmes [which is tough, as I'm sure you know]. I like him better than the guy at the bank who tries to talk sports with me every time I deposit a check. I like him better than the landscaper trying to get my attention as I walked the little boy I nanny last week. I like him better than your boyfriend [no offense]. I even like him better than fresh raspberries and chocolate cake donuts. 

I'm just saying, we went to a Suns game the other day and there wasn't a single soul there that I would have preferred to be going home with than this boy right here.

His air of caution, his slipper-limp, the way he wears his shirts inside out. There's just no one else that I could be so damn happy with!

I just really, truly like him best!
[And that's just not something that I think everyone, can say.]

It's [not] always sunny...

We woke up to this about a week ago.

Definitely not something we're used to seeing in Arizona, but as it turns out, our backyard would look pretty darn gorgeous if we lived in a snowy climate. There's just something romantic about a pure white chill like this. Even so, once these little hail-balls melted it jumped back up to 80 in about 36 hours and this week we're laying out and taking quick dips in the pool. Little bit of a relief. I'm afraid I'm a warm weather lover after all!

Mr. Sun.

 

Watching the light fall beneath the horizon and wondering who's watching it rise above.

It's like we're living as guests to the wind.

I've always had a thing for these windy days. Something about knowing that the same breeze blowing through my hair right now, could have been whipping in between the legs of the surfers on Huntington Beach. Or maybe wrapping a scarf even tighter around a girl having coffee in Manhattan. Or who knows, it could have even snatched the napkin out of the hand of a gentleman in riding boots as he tried to wipe biscotti crumbs off of his face in Milan.

You just never know. 

Homemade tomato soup for dinner. Levi's favorite and what better thing to do on a brisk evening like this than to fill the house with the sweet smell of roasting veggies. Oh this life is just such a treat.

'Cause even the stars they burn.

I've been playing this song on repeat for about a week now. Then, a couple days ago, guess what the boy started blasting over and over through the house? 

[We're pretty much meant to be.]

Goosebumps all day.

 I ate two [rather large] pieces of chocolate cake for breakfast today.

[And I'm not even PMSing.]

Then I put on these shorts.

[And it's like 50 degrees outside.]

Today was just full of good decisions!

 

Coming up for air.

The days between December 1st, all the way to about two weeks after New Years Eve just don't slow down much, do they? 

That's not an excuse. 

I'm just saying.

Okay it's a little bit of an excuse.

Forget it.

Anywayheythere!

How were your holidays? How was 2011? Ready for 2012?

Me? I am. Let's get personal. [Don't run, we'll just get a little bit personal.]

2011 was my year. It was the first year - possibly of my life - that I would go back and re-live in a heartbeat. And that means so much to me. I grew a lot. I learned a lot. I spent every day with the one who completes me. I feel good.

I learned the power of honesty. I mean complete honesty. I mean being the same person to family, to friends, to your lover, and to yourself. I learned this year not to look away embarrassed when the stranger in the car next to me catches me rocking out to my music. And that to me, is a pretty big deal.

I learned to let things slide. I learned to disagree quietly. I learned the road to gaining trust is a long one and it requires an immense amount of patience. That being said, it's worth it.

I learned to love my crooked smile. Okay let's be real, I won't lie and say I don't still try to straighten out my bottom lip when smiling in pictures. But metaphorically speaking, I accept me. I am who I am. That's not only okay, but it's a good thing!

I can't express to you the peace I feel jumping in to 2012. Feeling like I know who I am. Feeling like I know where I'm going. Feeling like I know what's important. It was a long time coming, but I can not wait to make this year as good as the last. I'm making a life-long resolution to never live another year that I wouldn't want to live over and over!

I owe so much of this excitement to the boy I got to spend every day this last year with. Levi Chell Roberts is the most genuine person I know. I absolutely adore the example he is of creating the life for yourself that you want. I am such a blessed girl to get to spend so much of my time right next to him.

 

As far as specific resolutions go. I do want to blog more. I might start posting my knitwear again. I might take more pictures. But honestly more than anything this year I want to smile even more than last. I want to make the people around me smile even more than they did last. 

As long as I'm moving forward, I'm going to be okay with it. That, is a good feeling my friends. A very good feeling.

Love and hugs.