What did you do in that moment?
What did the person in the cubicle next to you do in that moment?
What did the President of the United States just do in that moment?
What about the barista you got your coffee from this morning?
What about your brother?
What about your 7th grade english teacher?
What about her?
What about him?
What about this moment?
What did you do in that moment?
What did the cute guy sitting across from you on the Subway do in that moment?
What was he thinking?
What were you thinking?
Was it a good moment?
Or was it wasted?
Don't worry, here comes another one.
How was that moment?
How was that moment for the people around you?
What would those people have said that moment was like for you?
Would they have said it was a good moment?
Would they have been encouraged to take charge of their next moment because of what you just did with yours?
Or would it have been wasted?
Sometimes I'm in awe at how many chances we have in this life. To make things right. To make our life what we want it to be. Not that there haven't definitely been times when I thought I had no control over those moments [and because of that, I really didn't], but even in those moments, just blink. There's the next.
Levi and I just realized yesterday that it was November 26th last year when he sent me the first email in the chain that led to Seattle. That means the entire last year of my life has had moments with Levi Chell Roberts in them. All the way from Moment Number One... Seeing his name pop up in my inbox. To which I responded, "Wow – pretty sure I choked on my hot chocolate when I saw “Levi Roberts” name in my inbox! Good to hear from you." I continued casually, and spent the night hitting refresh every five minutes waiting for that name in bold. To Moment Number Seven Thousand Five Hundred and Sixty Eight... Last night. I had a little bit of a nervous breakdown. Which he calmly let me talk out to him, and he re-assured me of his love and our life together through it all. Then he laid down with me and let me bury myself in his chest. He wrapped around me tight. "I'm little." I told him. "I know." he said, "You're allowed to be little sometimes." and he just held me. He just held me.
There has never been a more perfect moment in my life.
Today I'm praying that every beating heart in this world has the chance, even if for just a moment, to feel as content - as perfectly, and completely content - as I did last night, escaping from everything, there in Levi's arms.
"It took me a long time, she said, to stop confusing safety with love." -Storypeople
I'm a firm believer that it's possible to feel both.
Today is going surprisingly quickly for an early Friday. Which is good. I have quite a bit to do tonight in Seattle preparation. Laundry being number one [number one on the list of my very LEAST favorite things to do anyway]. I also need to get something over to my sisters to take to my family's Thanksgiving on Thursday. Since we're going to be gone for it, I don't want them to think I wasn't thinking about them. I'm thinking Pumpkin Cheesecake Cupcakes. We'll see if it happens. Levi's probably working today - so much for that boy to get done before we leave. Vacations get a little stressy for him... We're excited though. I'm sure tonight will be busy as usual. We still need to watch Iron Man II. Maybe we'll actually get to that...wish us luck!
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