Mostly, we had a beautiful time in the emerald city.

Mostly.

While we weren't skipping down yellow brick roads and laughing in the face of the [biting] west wind though, we learned some things about the place. For example.

1. While we were pushing our way through Pikes, we learned that much of the human race has not yet figured out what "personal hygiene" actually entails. And the few that HAVE figured that one out are inevitably the ones who haven't even scratched the surface of public courtesy. Brilliant.
2. Before making an attempt to live on Bainbridge island, one must own one of each of the following. Mustard yellow over-sized pedal pushers, sage green over-sized pedal pushers, and cherry red over-sized pedal pushers [and don't forget the leather fur-lined vest to go with it].
3. Five days, is a [FREAKING] long time.
4. Save you're $4.50. The 1/2 cup, unstirred, package hot chocolate mix from Southwest Airlines [complimentary] is more worth it than the "Real Viente Hot Cocoa with Whip" from Tullys.
5. And don't even try to pull over to let someone pass you if you realize you're going too slow for them. They'll honk at you as they drive by no matter what - you might as well make 'em wait.

Now don't get me wrong, I think I can speak for both of us when I say that Seattle will always hold a special place in our hearts. It's where we started. It's our first kiss. It started us dreaming. It was a place we could both be ourselves and get to know each other. It was our first date.

And now really, we should be thanking it yet again, for bringing us to a [pretty major] realization.

IT'S COLD THERE. It's cold! And it's wet! And it's crowded and tiring and confusing and busy and, well, if we're being honest with you, it's not for us. Somewhere in mildew smelling crowds, we LOST us. Levi and Amalie got tangled up in the people and when "we" came out on the other side - it wasn't us anymore. We weren't laughing, we were worrying. We weren't dreaming, we were dwelling. We were gone.

It was frustrating, and stressful, and a little scary. At first I thought I was hating that Washington wasn't the Utopia that I had made it out to be in my head, but as Levi hesitatingly talked out not being sure about moving any time soon, my emotions surprised me. I wasn't scared that maybe we wouldn't end up in Washington. While we were sitting there in Taco Time, putting feelings into words for each other, I was scared of not being us.

So yes, I used to think that it was Seattle that made me so alive. I used to think it was the place that made me, me. I thought that that was where I found myself, and that's where I was supposed to BE myself. But guess what, folks? I was dead there. I was dead there, because we were dead there.

A couple nights before we left for Seattle, I made us tomato soup and grilled cheese. Before anyone makes any lack-of-ambition sarcastic comments, let me clarify. I didn't make just any tomato soup and grilled cheese. I made home made tomato soup with deluxe grilled cheese. I roasted the tomatoes, I added the seasonings [leaving out the onion courtesy for mah man, of course], I cut fresh french bread and mozzarella and cooked bacon, then I put it all together on a plate with a big cup of milk and set it in front of the boy. He told me it was the best tomato soup he'd ever had. He ate until he couldn't fit another bite. He kissed me [after we both rinsed with some STRONG mouthwash a couple times] and held me and thanked me. Then he did it all over again the next day when he busted out the left-overs. That? That, made my heart beat. That, was the freshest oxygen I've ever breathed. That, made me alive.

All this time I thought it was a place. I didn't realize that "Seattle" was standing right next to me.

I'm doing all right today. I'm not so worried about being in Arizona for a long time comin'. I'm not so worried because if "Seattle" means life to me, then Levi, is "Seattle". And Levi, will be right next to me no matter where I am.

Welcome home.

We're loving being here. Today we both worked - and it was Heaven. We split Costa Vida. We wrestled. We were just us. It was a beautiful Tuesday. It's a beautiful life.