[This morning as I was getting ready for work [finishing my eye make-up, to be exact] I was thinking over my list of things to blog about and trying to narrow down which one I wanted to use today when the bathroom door opened, Levi walked in stirring a mug of hot chocolate. "You've been liking hot chocolate in the mornings now, right?" He asked me. He looked at me for just a minute, gave me a big hug, then walked away to let me finish getting ready. I looked at the mug. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at the open door he had just walked out of. Then I thought, "How on earth am I ever going to get everything he does that deserves a blog, blogged when the numbers double and double double every fetching day??" Today it seems a little [and by a little I mean pretty much completely] unrealistic that I'll get to them all so instead of laying every adorable step out for you, I'm just going to try and focus on some feelings.]
Today I feel worthwhile. Hans Christian Anderson said, "Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower." Levi gives me all three plus so much more - he makes me feel like I'm doing so much more than existing. Aren't there moments in all of our lives where we feel more alive than usual? Moments that you look back on and think, "If I had to go back and re-live a part of my life, that would be it." Moments that define us. Moments that make this life truly worthwhile. Maybe it's not a moment for you, maybe it's your job, or maybe it's a person. It's easy to feel worthwhile with someone who is constantly trying to convince you that your life is so perfectly a part of theirs. It's easy to feel worthwhile with someone who is willing to mold your lives together because they love you. It's easy to feel worthwhile when no matter how your day goes, you know you'll come home to someone who will listen to you talk about it. It's easy to feel worthwhile with someone who actually tries to understand. It's easy to feel worthwhile with someone willing to go outside their comfort zone just to try and make you a little happier. It's easy to feel worthwhile, with him, and today, I feel it. Why? Because of this.
It was maybe a couple weeks or so after I moved in that I cut my finger on one of his knives. It wasn't bad, just a little nick. It bled though, so I applied pressure and bandaged it up. I made some "You should kiss it better!" joke to Levi and he got all the sudden real hesitant around me. I think he kissed my head or something and told me that it would help. Time for some background on Amalie. I'm pretty sure I believed kisses had ACTUAL healing powers until I was like, ten. Kissing things better is super normal to me - it's just what you do. Thus, his reaction caught me just a little bit off guard. I'm not exactly one to get super [butt]hurt about something like that, but I think I made some [possibly maybe slightly bitter] comment about my finger never going to heal thanks to him and his crazy germophobia. Despite my [possibly maybe slightly rude] sarcasm, he didn't budge and we laughed it off and moved on. Yesterday while I was making my kids their lunch, I grabbed a hot bowl and burnt the side of my finger. It was probably like a 0.2 degree burn but it still stung a little last night, so I told Levi about it. He stopped what he was doing and grabbed my hand, "Aw, babe. Where?" I showed him, unexpectantly, and what does he do?
The boy kissed it.
He kissed it because he loves me enough to remember that kissing away the pain is something I believe in, and he loves me enough to do something that may be a little unnatural to him because he knows it will make me happy.
And that, would make just about anyone feel worth it.
I read once that Thursdays are the only day of the week that don't have a "feel". I'm not sure I believe it. I think they feel like the day before the day before the weekend - and that makes me happy! Today when I got home I had to come in the back way because Levi said there may be something on the front porch that I'm not supposed to see yet. [Tis the season!] He's a doll. It's a busy night at work for him. I'll be cleaning the kitchen, then probably dirtying it up again with something chocolate. YUM!
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