...because with him, I'm more me than ever before.
...because the me I am with him, I can feel good about.
...because I feel good about where I'm at in life, with him.
...because when I'm with him, I feel like I'm going somewhere.
...because we're going somewhere together.
...because when we're together, we're happy.
...because we're happy with who we are together.
...just because we're happy.
Today, assuming that no one could ever possibly be happy having to put up with me full time for more that a couple days at a time, I told Levi how excited I was to get back to work on Monday. His response shouldn't have surprised me, but because my brain enjoys fighting with itself over my value in life, it did. He looked at me with a disappointed look on his face and said, "Really? Cause I'm kind of not." It got me thinking about the turn this year took in my life. I think I'd quite enjoy putting January of 2010 Amalie in the same room with January of 2011 Amalie just to see what would happen. I imagine 2010 me, would worry herself sick over how they were going to get out, if they were going to get out, and what everyone would think of her getting herself in there in the first place! She would pace up and down, peer out all the slits in the windows, try to focus one eye on whatever was under the crack in the door, but if she DID happen to see anyone heading their way, she'd run to the other side of the room, strike some [casual] pose and hope they didn't think she was desperate, or worried, or sad, or upset, or anything less than the level-headed, self-reliant and self-confident, fun-loving person she, herself wished she was. Meanwhile, 2011 me walks over to the door, opens it, and carries on with a smile at the onlookers on her way out.
It's just time. It was time for me to open that door. I feel so blessed to have made it to the other side, where Levi seemed to be waiting for me. He was there, with open arms, with an open heart, and he was there to hold me up until I realized I could walk on my own. There are always people, on the road of life to help you along the way, but Levi felt like a destination. He's my better half. In every way that anyone has ever used that term, he truly is. I'm excited for 2011 because to me, it's a symbol of moving forward. The fact that I get to be with Levi this year, the fact that we get to make plans for the year together, the fact that my heart feels strong and complete having him by my side, makes this year, the one I'm ready for. It makes this one, the first year of my life.
Thanks babe, for making my world brand new. This year, is gonna be the bestest.
Our 2010
We decided we're a little bit boring, but neither of us could think of anything better to do on New Years Eve than to just stay home. We're going to sip sparkling cider next to the fire [because AZ finally decided to cool down a little] and kiss at midnight. Because we're home. And we can. Personally? New Years Eve of my freakin' dreams!
Happy New Years Everyone!
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